I recently had a debate with a man – not a random unimportant man wearing a suit that I met in a bar – I mean a real, sweaty, solid man whose charisma is so high that, if you were not careful, he would suck you into his happy world.
We were chatting about what our lives’ mottos were and his was clear: he wanted to be happy, make everyone happy – and he believed in that so much that even his body shape was structured happily around him, as if his flesh was happily constantly hugging him.
Needless to say, I was horrified by his statement. How in the name of Snow White’s seven dwarfs could you believe in happiness?! How could you hormonally be consistently happy? How impossibly tiring! While I was taking a drag on my cigarette, I told him with my broken voice and French accent: “The only thing I believe in and that you could apply in ANY situation and mood is humor.”
Indeed, humor helps you to look clever when actually you are acting like the hidden child of Paris Hilton and Jean-Claude Van Damme (if you did not know, all his neurons either immigrated or committed suicide, he is THAT thick). The moments in my life where I felt like that were when I was in Mathematics, Physics and Chemistry classes. I would listen to the professors, my mouth wide open like a dead fish, my eyes tearing of stupidity… and the worst was when I had to sit for exams in these subjects.
However, one year, I had a fantastic physics teacher who had humor and saw straight away that I would need to spend a lifetime to comprehend the simple basics of her subject. So in order to make her understand that I was not as moronic as it seemed when I was in her classes; I would answer the questions in tests by writing short stories. The heroes were always electrons (positive and negative – got that right at least), and at the end of each story they would always finish by shagging – at 17, a woman’s hormones are quite intense as well. I was not that explicit but the sexual attraction of these 2 particles was very clear and it is the basic law of physics: positive and negative charges attract. Thanks to her, it was the first time I wrote something in a test, not waiting desperately for the time to pass. Obviously, I failed terribly in this subject but she did put smiley faces next to my stories. If I had chosen the path of happiness, nicely shaking my head in her classes with a twinkle in my eyes, I would have only confirmed my stupidity whereas humor had helped me to be less bored and to show a certain sense of cleverness.
Furthermore, humor helps you to overcome frustration. At work, one of my bosses hates me to bits. It is very unfair, but c’est la vie and I despise him back. When I had to renew my employment pass, he downgraded my status, going from chancellor to officer. Splendid! I was quite mad to see that my hard work had not been taken into account. However, I quickly found a solution. I gave myself a promotion and upgraded my job position on my name cards : I became a manager – of myself, but still a manager. And voilà no more problem! Now please tell me how could happiness have helped me in this situation?!
In the adult world, people like behaving properly; therefore, people tend to be diplomatic, nice and polite because I do-not-know-whom stipulated that it is the right thing to do. Call me an immature brat but I get my high when I am surrounded by these dull grown-ups and manage to formulate such a witty, vulgar and yet terribly amusing comment that they are unable to cover their laughter. The feeling of being able to make a crowd laugh, when in reality the only thing they really want to do is staple your mouth and inject something called ‘normality” into your brain, is something I have to admit does make me happy. But I am only happy thanks to humor.
Now the only place humor should never be allowed to come in, is behind closed doors. As French, I highly respect this art and men who master it. However, let‘s be serious! Every woman has already experienced a man thinking our shop was a free beauty parlor to file his nails in; pressing our clito as if it were an emergency button and waiting for us to react – oh we are reacting dude and it is called being in PAIN; and finally imitating the reproduction behavior of rabbits – ah, the rapid slap, slap of naked skin; so not arousing. My lack of patience and acting skills make me unable to pretend that the baboon is doing a great job. So, I usually leave abruptly, excusing myself from all his selfish fun by saying that I have a dead obese cat to feed and bless his mother’s ignorance. However, I always forget to thank him for the incredible laughter he gives me and my friends the next day – how rude of moi! Again, happiness would not help me in this situation. Perhaps, I should try being kind and empathic… but how terribly boring!
I do not believe that you can always be happy – except if you are the idiot of the village – however, I religiously think that humor can save our souls, and that in every situation, God is testing our humor. We should respect this gift that has been given to us, and spice our lives with it every day.