How To Be The Perfect Wife:

Louise Hay’s book Empowering Women is simple, to the point and awesome. I am loving it. Early on in the book Louise discusses some of the reasons why many women have low self esteem today. One of them being our programming from past decades, television, media and school.

If you would like to learn what it takes to be a “good wife” (back in the 1950’s) then prepare yourself for an interesting read. Oh, how times have changed.

The following is an excerpt from a 1950’s high school home economics textbook. It is real and authentic. If you shock easily I advise you not to read it.

1. Have dinner ready:

Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking of him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home, and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome they need.

2. Prepare yourself:

Take 15 minutes to rest so that you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

3. Clear away the clutter:

Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too!

4. Prepare the children:

Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures, and he would like to see them playing the part.

5. Minimize all noise:

At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.

6. Some don’ts:

Don’t greet him with problems or complaints. Don’t complain if he is late for dinner. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back into a comfortable chair or suggest that he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

7. Listen to him:

You have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

8. Make the evening his:

Never complain if he doesn’t not take you out to dinner or to other pleasant entertainment. Instread, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to unwind and relax.

Carole is a freelance writer on holistic, inspirational and simple living, passionate blogger and facilitates annual Women’s Rejuvenation Retreats in Bali:

Australian couple break world record for low-carbon emissions

John and Helen Taylor drove around Australia in their Peugeot 308 HDi, breaking two Guinness World Records – “Round Australia Diesel Economy World Record”, and the overall “Round Australia World Fuel Economy Record” (subject to final Guinness World Record confirmation) – and completed their trip yesterday when they returned to Melbourne.

Greenfleet’s CEO Sara Gipton said John and Helen Taylor’s record was a fantastic achievement – at just 90g CO2-e/km travelled (national average is 285g CO2-e/km) and showed what a difference driving the right vehicle – very well, could make.

“This achievement is approximately one-third of the Australian average passenger vehicle emissions per km travelled,” Ms Gipton said.

“The car was driven carrying two people and their luggage and even surpassed the results achieved by any commercially available vehicle in the Greenfleet Class of the 2007 World Solar Challenge.

“If everyone in Australia could drive just one-third more ‘carbon efficiently’ than our current average (generating only 190g CO2-e/km travelled), assuming total km’s remain constant, we could collectively reduce Australia’s total greenhouse emissions from passenger vehicles by approximately 15 CO2-e megatonnes,” she said.

Since 1990, greenhouse emissions from Australia’s passenger vehicles have grown by 25 per cent.

“Changing the way we drive and what we drive can make a significant contribution to achieving aggressive greenhouse gas reduction targets as proposed recently in the Interim Garnaut report,” Ms Gipton said.

“To achieve the proposed greenhouse targets (min 60 per cent reduction) – we all need to drive as well as the Taylors.”

“Greenfleet encourages organisations and individuals to reduce the greenhouse gases they make and then offset or counterbalance their remaining emissions via Greenfleet’s forest restoration program,” Ms Gipton said.

“Greenfleet’s forests do much more for the environment than just take carbon from the atmosphere and lock it away.

“Our biodiverse approach means we plant a wide variety of native trees as permanent forests that help to reduce salinity and soil erosion and provide essential habitat for native wildlife,” Ms Gipton said.

Australian women will pop the question today!

Aussie men, brace yourselves for a lady literally falling at your feet on 29 February! One in five women (20%) think a leap year is the only acceptable time for a lady to pop the question – whilst 27% of women would go down on bended knee, were they to ask a man for his hand in marriage.

The poll by New Woman magazine also reveals that one in four women (27%) would ask their partner’s family for permission, prior to proposing. However, just 20% of women would be willing foot the bill for their own engagement ring, were they to pop the question. 28% maintain the man should splash his own cash on a rock, whilst 52% believe the cost should be split 50/50.

Donna Armstrong, editor of New Woman, said, “We all love a bit of old-fashioned romance, but the days of waiting around for men to sweep us off our feet are long-gone. When it comes to 21st century proposals, anything goes!”

As for the perfect proposal setting, a nostalgic 36% of women cite the spot where they first set eyes on the partner as the perfect backdrop – whilst one in five (21%) think an overseas trip would make the ultimate setting.

A sun-soaked Aussie beach is third on New Woman’s list of proposal hot-spots (19%), followed by a romantic candle-lit dinner (17%). Breaking with tradition, 7% of women would set their partner’s pulse racing with an adrenalin-fuelled proposal, mid-skydive or bungee jump.

Source: AAP

Pressures on working families linked to low fertility rates

The release of a new study, Fertility and Family Policy in Australia, reveals ongoing pressures on working families are preventing many women from having children or large families. 

In her response to the research paper released by the Australian Institute of Family Studies, Minister for Families, Housing, Community Services and Indigeneous Affairs, Jenny Macklin says working families need support during life transitions so that they have the confidence to have children if they want them.

Ms Macklin said support systems need to address the realities of modern Australian life.

The report confirms that fertility rates are at close to the lowest ever in Australia and are below the level required for population replacement.  Most of those surveyed would like to have more children and only very few considered no children or one child their ideal number of children.

The research paper found that even with economic security, couples lacked confidence in their ability to create and maintain a family environment which provided emotional and financial support for children.  Their decision to not have children was also influenced by other factors including difficulties in accessing childcare, job insecurity and the cost of housing.

The Rudd Government has announced policies to help families balance work and family such as parental leave, increasing the Child Care Tax Rebate from 30% to 50%, universal preschool for all four year olds and co-locating child care services on school sites.

The Australian Government has also asked the Productivity Commission to examine ways the Government can improve support to parents with newborn children.

The Commission will explore ways to make it as easy as possible for working mums to balance their employment with the important job of raising a new generation of Australians.

Victorian Women in Small Business 2: Shameem Bhatti and ‘Women on the Go Driving School’

Today we continue our series on Victorian women in small business with Shameem Bhatti, founder of Women on the Go Driving School.

In Islamic culture, women and men avoid situations where they will be alone with someone of the opposite sex who is not a family member.  Since the majority of qualified driving instructors are men, this can make learning to drive a challenge for muslim women.

As a muslim woman, Shameem Bhatti, a mother of four from the Melbourne suburb of Fawkner, had encountered this challenge herself. So after getting her licence she began helping other muslim women to learn to drive. Out of this experience Shameem set up her own small business, Women on the Go Driving School.

Although most of Shameem Bhatti’s clients are muslim women, migrant women from diverse cultural and religious backgrounds have also benefited from her skills as a professional driving instructor.

As a young girl, Shemeem migrated to Australia with her family from Pakistan in 1985.  Her experiences as a migrant have given Shameem the ability to empathise with other women who have adopted Australia as their home land.  So on any given day, lending a sympathetic ear to a migrant woman who is experiencing social isolation, is all just part of the service provided by Women on the Go.

“I get to meet women from all nationalities and listen to their problems.  I go through all their ups and downs with them as I’m teaching these women how to drive,” Shameem said in a recent telephone interview with Australian Women Online.

“Even though Australia is my home now.  I remember what it was like when we first arrived and can relate to what these women are going through.”

Prior to setting up her small business in late 2005, Shameem had never worked outside the home.  Shameem had first qualified as a driving instructor in 1998 so she could teach muslim women to learn to drive.  But with four young children and a busy household to run, Shameem had to delay entering the workforce until her youngest child was preparing to start school.  Fortunately, it was at about this time Shameem saw an article in the local paper announcing the launch of the Enterprising Women Project in the northern suburbs of Melbourne.

The Enterprising Women Project gave Shameem access to business training and an interest free business loan, which she used to set up Women on the Go whilst completing the New Enterprise Incentive Scheme.

Shameem was also assisted by the Victoria Business website and her local Victoria Business Centre.  “The website explains in plain English everything you need to do when setting up a business.  It’s especially helpful for women who have young children and find it difficult to get out of the house during the day,” she said.

On the home front, Shameem admits she couldn’t have succeeded without the support of her family and friends, especially her husband, who has since become a qualified driving instructor so he can teach the men how to drive.  “My husband has been very supportive.  I am very lucky.”

Shameem says she also went to a lot of women’s networking events.  ”I went to a lot of meetings just to get some support from women who were in the same boat.  These events help to keep you motivated when you are starting a business.”

Despite having no budget for advertising and with only word-of-mouth to sing her praises, Shameem has not only made her driving school a success, she has become somewhat of a minor celebrity.  In 2006 she was invited to speak at the Connecting Communities Forum and in the following year, Shameem participated in the SBS documentary Halal Mate.

As is so often the case with the women I talk to, Shameem Bhatti is giving something back to the community that has made her business a success.  Shameem has an arrangement with Fawkner Community House to give driving lessons to economically disadvantaged women in the community.  She has also been instrumental in establishing playgroups and a swimming program for muslim women in her local area.  In 2006 Shameem was honoured for her community work by the Moreland City Council, receiving an award for her leadership skills and her contribution to the Fawkner community.

I asked Shameem if she had any advice for women going into business for themselves:

“Believe in themselves and whatever they do never compromise their values and beliefs. Be comfortable with what they want and give it all they got. Like for myself it was very important for me to teach women only so that I won’t feel guilty of working against my religious values. If I am not comfortable with what I am doing then I won’t be able to give my 100%.”

Women on the Go Driving School doesn’t have a website at this stage, but if you would like to book driving lessons with Shameem, you can contact her by telephone on (03) 9324 0700.

I would like to thank Shameem Bhatti for sharing her story with Australian Women Online.

I would also like to thank Lauren Fragapane and Victoria Business for their assistance in producing the series of articles on Victorian women in small business.

Other articles in this series

• Allison Muller and Divine Chocolates
• Sarah Benjamin and Simply Rose Petals
• Lisa Baker and Alison Wallis from oKIDokie

Smart and Sneaky Snacks for Kids:

Getting my children to snack smarter seems to be an ongoing challenge. My mantra is It becomes easier and easier to feed my children healthy snacksEach have their own unique tastes and preferences, one liking one thing and the others liking something else. Enter the crowd pleaser in our home – dips.

Blmurch’s

Smarter dips to the rescue:

Dips are easy to make, something kids can graze on and a snack you can easily sneak healthy bits into. You’ve gota love dips for all those reasons.

One thing all my children love (its about time) is Hummus and of course homemade hummus has the extra ingredient of love. The secret weapon in my hummus and guacamole is raw garlic.

My grandmother used to feed me raw garlic and parsley sandwiches every time I had a cold. Raw garlic contains about 200 compounds including many vitamins and minerals. It boosts your immune system is antibacterial, antifungal and has antiviral properties. It is a source of antioxidants and some studies show that it may even reduce stress levels in humans.

Smarter and very sneaky Hummus:

I can of organic chickpeas

3 – 4 tablespoons of tahini

2 to 4 tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil

plenty of fresh lemon juice to taste

a hint of chili

3 raw garlics peeled and crushed

parsley finely chopped

Blend altogether adjusting the ingredients to your personal taste.

Smarter and sneaky Guacamole:

2 Avocado

1 Finely chopped roma tomato

1 raw garlic

lemon or lime juice to taste

Extra virgin olive oil

A splash of natural yoghurt

Teaspoon sumac (optional)

Salt

Freshly ground black pepper

Mash together with fork and adjust ingredients to taste. Enjoy.

The trick also in our home is to serve dips with something that your kids love in the first place. Try rice crackers, pita bread or corn chips.

Carole is a freelance writer on holistic and simple living, passionate blogger and facilitates annual Women’s Rejuvenation Retreats in Bali:

Similar articles for children:

Nine things you don’t know about your children’s bedroom

The ultimate guide for a calmer driving experience:

Healing bumps, cuts and accidents easily:

Reclaim the Chocolate Goddess Within:

I have recently found myself addicted to Chocolate Facials. It is the easiest and simplest way to connect to the Chocolate Goddess within.

Natural raw cacao (cocoa) powder is packed with antioxidants (10 times more than blueberries and 40 times more than green tea) not to mention its the richest form of magnesium. The Chocolate Goddess within wins on all accounts healthy skin, healthy body and healthy spirit. The ancient Aztecs and Mayans were definitely onto something.

Raingirllori

Rules for enjoying a chocolate facial:

• No licking
• They are addictive so no more than one a week
• Organic cacao powder is the most nutritious and you deserve the best
• Repeat the chocolate mantra I reclaim the chocolate goddess within
• You can eat strawberries whilst enjoying the facial – one or two dips only is allowed
• Going naked is optional
• For a further indulgence watch the movie Chocolat or my personal favourite Like Water for Chocolate

The Authentic Chocolate Facial Recipe:
By Carole Fogarty

A little oatmeal to bind

5 tablespoons raw cacao (cocoa powder) most good health food stores will sell the powder. You can adjust the quantity to only 3 tablespoons.

3 tablespoons organic honey (darker honey is better)

3 – 5 tablespoons natural organic yoghurt

Mix the honey and cacao powder together adding as much oatmeal and yogurt to create a smooth yet thickish paste. I find the wetness of yoghurts can vary greatly and affect the facials consistency so start with 2 tablespoons and increase as needed. I generally add a little oatmeal just to bind the mixture a bit more. As you can see I’m not one for exact measurements. I tend to cook and create by feel. Sorry about that.

Further useful information:

World Cocoa Foundation – encouraging sustainable, responsible cocoa growing. Did you know there are between 40 and 50 million people who depend on cocoa for their livelihood.

From the tree to the table. A fabulous slide show showing you the process of cacao bean going from the tree to your table. This would be a great one for kids. It shows how chocolate is made.

Listen to David Wolfe America’s leading nutritional guru talk about the health properties of cacao.

Carole is a freelance writer, passionate blogger and facilitates annual Women’s Rejuvenation Retreats in Bali all coated with chocolate of course:

Research suggests smacking is ineffective as a parental discipline strategy

According to an expert in psychology and child development, the link between smacking naughty children and aggression in adults is a tenuous one.  However, parents should also be aware that corporal punishment is not an effective discipline strategy and that research suggests spanking can lead to other problems in adulthood.  

The former chief justice of the Family Court, Alastair Nicholson, has called for smacking to be outlawed amid concerns spanking children could be linked to increasing rates of violence and bullying.  

“If a child’s parents treat him or her abusively and violently, then it is not surprising that the child will also see this conduct as appropriate,” Mr Nicholson said. “In my view, the only way we are likely to break this cycle is to stress from the earliest possible stage that violence is not a solution to anything.”

But according to the expert on psychology and child development I spoke to, the link between corporal punishment and aggression in adults is a tenuous one.  Associate Professor Dr Kerry Hempenstall at RMIT told Australian Women Online, “There is a case to be made that corporal punishment can lead to those sorts of outcomes.  But the problem from a research prospective is you can’t be absolutely sure that it was the smacking that did it.” 

“This is not an argument for smacking, merely to say that the research isn’t absolute in it’s condemnation of smacking,” he said.

Although research hasn’t been able to establish a direct causal link between smacking as a discipline strategy and aggression in adults, Dr Hempenstall recommends that parents avoid using corporal punishment. 

Firstly, the research suggests corporal punishment is not an effective discipline strategy.  “The only benefit that has been associated with smacking is short term compliance.  The problem is that there is no long term compliance, that is, the thing the child did that led to the smack is just as likely to reoccur,” he said.

Secondly, the research indicates there can be other long term consequences for the child a part from those mentioned by Alastair Nicholson in the news.com.au article. 

Dr Hempenstall says the long term effects of corporal punishment do not always manifest as aggression in adults.  Children who are regularly spanked can develop problems with low self-esteem, depression, and maintaining healthy relationships in adulthood.

The likely impact of corporal punishment also depends on the context in which the occasional smack is delivered.  Although the psychologist doesn’t condone corporal punishment, Dr Hempenstall believes the occasional smack delivered with an explanation by a loving parent, is unlikely to result in the sorts of anti-social behaviours described by the former chief justice.

Of course, the risks of developing anti-social behaviours in adulthood rises significantly when corporal punishment crosses the line into what constitutes physical abuse and it is this issue which is of primary concern for the former chief justice and his colleagues at the Family Court. 

The news article where Alastair Nicholson’s comments appear says “Almost 70 per cent of parents, many of whom were hit as children, believe spanking is acceptable discipline.” So if this figure is accurate and if the outcomes described by the former chief justice were inevitable, we would expect to see more aggressive behaviours in adults than is currently the case.

Dr Hempenstall provides a possible explanation for this anomaly.  Firstly, there are a range of factors which contribute to the psychological make-up of a person.  Secondly, some children are just more resilient than others and have the ability to rise above whatever the world throws at them.

So should we err on the side of caution and ban all forms of physical punishment and prosecute those parents who deliver the occasional smack?

Dr Hempenstall agrees this is a decision which should be decided by our old friend ‘community standards’.  But if almost 70 per cent of parents do believe the occasional smack is acceptable discipline, the government may find it difficult to implement and police a total ban on corporal punishment in the home.

Some have suggested more parent education will resolve the problem.  However, community education programs are an expensive strategy which is suggested for just about every issue these days and my fear is community education will eventually become ineffective. Besides, most parents are well aware of what constitutes physical abuse and most have never crossed the line.

I am certain most of you would agree that those who physically abuse their children should be prosecuted. Although I don’t personally approve of smacking, if almost 70 per cent of parents believe the occasional smack is acceptable discipline, our country does not have the resources to prosecute every parent who is caught smacking a naughty child.

Australians are dissatisfied at work

Just under half of Australians are dissatisfied with their current job, with one third claiming they would not recommend their current employer as a great place to work, a CareerOne.com.au survey has revealed.

The survey conducted by CareerOne in partnership with Coredata in January 2008 also found:

• 47 per cent of Australians were dissatisfied with their job, saying they are not getting paid enough.

• Queensland based respondents were the most dissatisfied employees (54 per cent) than any other Australian state or territory.

• Over one quarter of the respondents currently working said they thought about changing their job every day.

• Half of the respondents (52 per cent) who were thinking about changing jobs are already looking for one.

• 40 per cent said that having good relationships with colleagues was most valued when looking for a job.

• 47 per cent of respondents made a New Years resolution for 2008 with the majority nominating improving their career as their number one resolution.

“More than 50 per cent of Australians stated an unchallenging job role as the reason for dissatisfaction with their job,” Kate Southam, editor of CareerOne.com.au said.

The survey also revealed the expectations Australian employees have of their managers. Leading by example is the number one quality employees expect from their manager to possess according to more than half of the survey respondents. The attribute of bringing out the best from your employees came in second.

“Managers have huge influences on an employee’s workplace experience and performance. The survey showed that 38 per cent of respondents think they could do a better job than their manager and it would come as no surprise if a bad manager played a role in job dissatisfaction,” Ms. Southam said.

Source: News Digital Media (Sydney)

Fashion campaign accused of glamourising murder

This print advertisement which features an image of a woman’s body in a car boot has angered opponents of domestic violence and the families of murder victims.  Women’s Forum Australia said the images featured in the fashion campaign glamourise violence against women.

The campaign for Loula Shoe Boutique appeared in Harper’s Bazaar Australia.  A spokesman for the fashion magazine only inflamed the situation when he told the Herald Sun, “Every woman desires great shoes. It’s just a theme on what women will do for shoes.”

According to Women’s Forum Australia the Loula ad campaign also depicted images of women digging their own graves and police chalk outlines of dead women’s bodies.  After Women’s Forum Australia and several other women’s organisations complained about the advertisements, Harper’s Bazaar gave an undertaking to pull the Loula ad campaign from it’s magazine.  Well done ladies!

It never ceases to amaze me how out of touch marketing companies and their clients appear to be with consumers and the wider community.

 

Next Page »